these dreams of mine

I applied to nursing school. Back in December, I packed up all my hopes and dreams and work and mailed them off in an envelope. And we waited. We prayed and we waited.

We pleaded and told God it was what we wanted. This school, this timing was what we wanted.

And I got a letter of denial. This isn't the school, this isn't the time.

I've been quiet about it, even though I got the letter a few weeks ago now. It's been hard. But we're releasing our goals into His hands. Still pleading, still wanting. Planning to try again.  There's 5 more schools that are accepting applications this fall to begin in January of 2014. We're trying again. We're pushing into Him harder, knowing His dreams for us are bigger and shine brighter than the ones we have.

But day to day? It's raw. It hurts. My pride doesn't want to admit I didn't get in. My heart clings more to plans than to God on days. It's showing me how much I put faith in work and in myself. Thinking I can work my way to whereever I want to go.

The dreams are still there.  Though we may feel a bit lost, we're trusting that it's best we don't see the whole plan.

juicing

For a marathon runner, I don't eat as well as I should. We eat well--but I'm known to skip breakfast and enjoy an afternoon cookie.

Until I started to feel a tugging at my heart to change the way we eat. To cut out all the crap. To fill our plates with veggies. And then, just like when you buy a new car and see it EVERYWHERE, I began to see healthy eating everywhere.  Jami Nato blogged though cutting out sugar.  I got a random text from my husband that said "Want to try a fruit and veggie cleanse?" I went home with a massive sugar/caffiene induced migrane and watced two food documentaries back to back that I randomly found on Netflix. If you haven't watched "Hungry for Change" and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" you need to. They're available to stream. 

So we took the plunge and coughed up the money for a juicer. Found some good recipes online (I'll be sharing my favorites on here) and bought literally 30 pounds of fruit + veggies at Costco.

And now, it's Tuesday afternoon and my breakfast has been a yummy concoction of cucumber + apple + lime juice. It's good. I'm getting food but fighting my brain that wants bread and eggs and coffee. Really, really, fighting the coffee.  I'm also reading though the Youvision app devotional "Made to Crave" because really, this is a big heart issue. And I'm a believer that my heart + soul + body are all connected and all given to Christ. I just skip out a lot of giving my food over to Him. 

It's going to be a tough 5 days. I'm hoping to shed a few pounds and re-start my body. To give it nutrients and a clean slate. To treat it right.