Thursday, December 29, 2011

Heart of Thankfulness Chapter 7:

Is anyone else in shock that we are in the last week of 2011 or is that just me?
As we approach the new year, I hope that you will make it a resolution of yours to allow God to change your heart into a heart of thankfulness.For both of us, this book is one that the Lord continues to use  on our hearts, and we would love to have you join us whenever!

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It's my own face that obscures the face of God. My own rage, anger, impatience. 
In the mess and loud and screams Jesus whispers "What do you want?"
and I want to see. To see him in the mess. To see Him in the sinful, self loving world I live in. 

But I don't see, because I believe in the power of the pit. I smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love. Do I really believe that? Can something so hideous reside in my heart?

I try to hide it, but truly I do believe that complaining, exasperation and resentment will get me farther than love. "When I choose, and it is a choice, to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective--more expedient--than giving thanks."

and the grace of God whispers to me

Blasphemer.

Blasphemer.

We first must focus. "Jesus took the break, looking up to Heaven, and gave thanks."
Focus. Eyes to Heaven. 
It's a matter of focus. 
Looking for the ugly-beautiful, count it as grace, and transfigure the mess into joy with thanks and eucharisto. 

"Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization. Unless I call my attention to what passes before my eyes, I simply won't see it." Annie Dillard. 

and by thanks, we see. We see that He is here. Here in the ugly, in the mess. 
"We can see deep because we have seen His glory and received one gift after another.
But we only recognize the glory of God in this moment when we wake to the one grace after another"

I'm  blind when I want to be. 
The gift is always there. The reason for thanks is always there. 
Do I sometimes choose my anger over joy?
We can only choose one emotion at a time, which do we want to feel?


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

back from oblivion

I'm back!
I had a wonderful blogging break over Christmas and got to spend a lot of time with family.
Eating, eating, and more eating.
and then a little running. 

I hope you enjoyed your Christmas.
I didn't tweet a lot, or blog at all.
but I was invited in to see and worship the Christ Child.
and it was the best of all. 








 please excuse the picture overload that just happened.
It's hard to have a favorite moment of Christmas, but that smile as Sam opened his gift from me was near the top of the list.

Did you have a favorite Christmas moment?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Heart of Thankfulness Week 6

Week 6 of “heart of thankfulness” is here!  If you’re reading along, or have read Ann Voscamp’s book, leave us some feedback.  We would love to know your thoughts on the chapter!
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“Every moment I live, I live bowed to something.  And if I don’t see God, I’ll be bowed down before something else.”

I want to see God.  Truly, I do.  But, sometimes I just see everything else.  The pain, the struggles, the frustrations, the ugly… I see the negative.  I lose sight of the positive.  I lose sight of the good… even if I only caught a glimpse for a second.

“Eucharisteo is everywhere and I want to see euchariesteo everywhere and I want to remember how badly I really want to see it.”

Sometimes my longing to see the good physically hurts.  I WANT to see it!  Why is choosing it so hard?

“but, faith is always a way of seeing, a seeking for God in everything.  And if the eyes gaze long enough to see God lifted in a thing, how can the lips not off eucharisteo?”

Faith.  Faith is the key.  Without faith in the One who is Truth, we miss everything.  We miss it because of fear, of distraction, of trying to figure this life thing out on our own.  But, when we have faith.  When we’ve placed every single thing we’ve got in his hands.  When we wake up in the morning and decide to let it all go that day, we get the chance to see.  We get the chance to see because the burden on our back that had us staring at the ground has been lifted (Matthew 11:30). 

“Living in his presence is fullness of joy- and seeing shows the way in.  The art of deep seeing makes gratitude possible.  And it is the art of gratitude that makes joy possible.  Isn’t joy the art of God.”

Wait… we can SEE the way into his presence?  Is it that easy?  Can we just choose to see his gifts, his glory and live in his presence?  Yes, we can.  And that’s where joy lives.  Joy lives with gratitude and gratitude with joy.  One doesn’t exist without the other. 
And neither exist without choosing to see.

Monday, December 19, 2011

anniversary weekend

this week I'll be posting just a few times.
I hope you disconnect too and spend some time with your family.
I'll catch you after Christmas.
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this past weekend was our anniversary.
I honestly can't believe it has been a year.
it has flown by so fast.
it's been such a blessing.
such a gift.

and so we celebrated big.
 we started the morning with sleeping in, coffee, and cards.
and Sam suprised me with the Justin Bieber Christmas cd.
for which the lady at target made fun of him when he checked out.
but he still bought it for me.
that's love. 

so then we dressed up and took pictures of ourselves.
um, I'm married to him?
yes. so lucky. 

we had afternoon tickets to White Christmas.
so wonderful, and heartwarming.
and they had snow fall from the celiing at the end.

and best of all, GEORGE HW BUSH was at our show (they announced it at the beginning of the show!)
and since we ran out the door when it was over to get to our car,
we saw secret service load him into his car.
and he just smiled and waved at all of us.
I realized I have never seen a past/present president.


we stayed at the Magnolia hotel downtown Houston.
it was beautiful. 


the next series of pictures I was attemping a "predinner" picture.
it didn't really happen.


we ate at the  best steak house I have ever been to.
and spent more on a meal than I have ever spent.
and they brought us chocolate cake with "happy anniversary" written in chocolate.
um. delicious. 


Samuel,
I can't believe I have had the honor of being your wife for a whole year.
This year has been so filled. I have learned so much. I have been so blessed to be by your side each day. I love you so much more today than I did a year ago. I can't wait for the next 70 years. 


Friday, December 16, 2011

ten little things

hi friends! Happy friday morning!
Today I'm linking up with E tells tales for a fun week recap. 
you should join, too!


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1. I'm off today! Hooray. It will be full of running, pedicures, and reading. an altogether perfect day. I'm going to take my essie "Matte about you" and have them use it. Get pumped people, my nails will look like this:

2. Our anniversary is Sunday and we're celebrating big time this weekend.  Downtown hotel, seeing White Christmas, and fancy dinner. I'm so pumped to celebrate with Sam!


3. I like Science Fiction/Fantasy novels.  I have now acknowledged that I truly am a geek.
 

4. I still need a $20ish stocking stuffer for Sam. Any good ideas? the only thing I can think of is itunes card.  maybe boring, but the man loves his music.

5.  My race is in like 4 weeks. make that 3. it's soon. um, big glup. I better get running.


6.Speaking of being a geek, does anyone else love big bang theory?  If I wasn't already married to Sam (and so in love with him) I would marry sheldon. I mean sheldor.
 

7. class is over!!!! I'm so thankful to have my Tuesday and Thursday nights back, and Sam's happy he gets real meals those days again.  Merry Christmas to me.

8. This picture makes me laugh so hard I might pee my pants.

 

9. I'm 5'2" and tall boots make my legs look like tree stumps. I've tried so many pairs of boots on, it's just so sad. I'm  stuck in bootlets forever. Unless, that is, I grow 3 inches. 

10.  It's in the 60's/70's here in Houston now. How am I supposed to celebrate Chritmas in the warm? 
It's just wrong.


Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!