Our lives change so fast, and what we have now is only ours for a moment. This is mainly the reason why we (I) have decided to begin a family blog. This summer has proven to us (Samuel and I) that our lives are really just a moment in time, and we want to be able to share our day to day lives and activities with our friends who we can't always be as close to as we would like. Now, it is our family blog, but my dear husband-to-be hates blogs, so while he won't be doing the typing, his thoughts and updates will all be given through me.
Our past week has been such a lesson in relying on each other. As we move toward oneness, we have had the week and situations to experience incredible joy and deep sorrow. We have found that through all situations, openness and vulnerability are key to our relationship. Our joy is greater when shared together and our burdens are lessened by each other. For me, Sam is a blessing that is priceless. The moment I get good news I can not wait to share it with him; and yet, the moment my stomach sinks in a tough situation, I know he will provide an answer. He is not a replacement for God, or for my relationship with my heavenly Father, but here on Earth Samuel is the truest and purest manifestation that I have of how God loves me. What a gift I have been given!
Our past week or so has exemplified this vulnerability we must share. We both finished college last Saturday (eight days ago now) and shared a joy that was overwhelming. I was beaming for Sam, and he for me. But our joy was hindered because the night before, we had received a call from my parents that my 93 year old great grandmother, Nanny, had gone to be with Jesus. What a wonderful friendship we share that when tears began streaming down my face as I was on the phone with my Dad, Samuel knew what was being said and embraced me. It was a moment of intimacy for Samuel to understand and grieve with me without any words spoken. We grieved together Friday night, and finished school on Saturday morning. These two moments in my mind would never be linked--such great joy and such raw sorrow.
You see, for us, Nanny was not just a great grandmother. Nanny is another mother. When my brother Forrest and I were young, Nanny kept us every day while Mom and Dad worked. She repeatedly told my mom "These are my babies, you just gave birth to them." Nanny's house could be called a museum to Forrest and I; you can look through her halls and see us grow up in pictures. Nanny belonged to us, and we to her. Until the day she entered the hospital, we had at least weekly conversations; Nanny knew the details of my life and cherished them. She prayed for job interviews. She knew my class schedule every semester. Nanny was, and is, dear to our hearts.
We shared this sorrow, but also shared the joy of accepting a job offer and deciding to move to Houston. One of the most fun parts of engagement (for Samuel) is the planning of the times to come. We shared the joy of picking an apartment (that is mine for now, but will be ours after the wedding). We relished in planning the small details and enjoyed daydreaming about the time when we will live here together. Through all of the fun, we miss our Nanny and know she would be so excited and involved in all of these details.
Our week also included Nanny's funeral, Sam's graduation party, and moving me to Houston. It's a time in our life that is rushing by and we want to take note of it and enjoy the mountaintops and the valleys. It's not so much where we are, but that we are together.
Work starts tomorrow morning at 7 am, and I could not be more excited! Pictures of the new place to come later, stay tuned.