when it's what you want

As some of you may or may not know, I'm waiting a response to nursing school. I've applied, done all the hard work. And now I'm sitting in wait.

And every day there's a battle. Of checking the mail. I'm so anxious to check, but then I want to avoid it altogether. It makes me sick to my stomach. I go daily, anxiously anticipating the letter. Of playing it in my head going either way. Yes. Or No.  I was told the answer will come in March of 2013. And now, for the better part of a month, we play this game every day.

And my daily prayer is to hold my plans with open hands. Wishing and wanting and hoping for this dream, but not idolizing school. Knowing the One who holds our future has good for us, not harm.  But when I'm honest, I know it's what I deeply desire. I can't imagine a future without nursing school. But more than that, I know what I can't live without daily is Jesus. So I'm holding it with open hands. Pleading and praying and making my deepest desires known to the only One who really plans our futures.

If you find yourself in a place like this. A place where your dreams are laid bare and your heart feels raw, take it to the only one who knows our futures. And take that step to the mailbox with confidence.