Thursday, June 14, 2012

the state of my heart

if you missed our big news: we're moving.
You can catch yourself up over here.



we're 33 days away from the day Sam leaves Houston.
and in my heart, this very minute, the questions and doubt ring loud.

why now, Lord?
why leaving our friends?
why when we are comfortable?
why leave when I love my job?

because He is better.
this plan is better.

better.
better hurts.
better means leaving good--leaving great.
better means trusting that this isn't as good as it gets.

and at moments, just moments better doesn't feel right. better leaves me crying daily in my office.
better doesn't seem enough when it might mean living separately. better seems harsh when plans get postponed. it doesn't feel better to walk this and know He gave it. that He's allowing my heart the pain and sorrow of leaving.  when, at times, it feels a world sitting on my chest, keeping the air from filling my lungs.

but He's better.
and better is enough.

5 comments:

  1. Trusting can be tough. The transition won't be easy, but I'm praying that you feel at home and settled quickly.

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  2. aww girl this is so tough for you =( The Lord is faithful and He will carry you guys through this! He has wonderful plans, you will see =) =)
    I can totally relate as I have done SO many transitions in life, I have moved every single year for the last 6 years....this summer I am moving again =) So I can totally understand how stressed and frustrated you feel.
    Much Love!!
    L

    allglorious-within.blogspot.com

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  3. hey girl! Sorry that the hard time are coming up for you guys. The Austin Stone has been doing a sermon series on the sovereignty of God in suffering. Here's the link to the sermons, http://austinstone.org/resources/sermons. Hope it helps. We are praying for you guys.

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  4. Awh.. hugs. Transition can be hard.. but yes He is better.

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  5. I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are having an Arts and crafts day STAT.

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Love,
Lauren