God and I, we've long had trust issues
Those are the very words that begin chapter 8 in One Thousand Gifts. From that moment on, I knew that this was a chapter that was really going to speak to me through current struggles I’m having with the Lord. (FYI: I’m writing this before Passion. Hopefully some of these struggles are being worked on. :))
Worry, anxiety, fear, the unknown. All these things have the ability to throw me into a state of panic. To cause my patience to run thin, my words to become negative, and my heart to become joyless.
“Worry is the façade of taking action when prayer really is.”
Do I really choose worry over prayer?
Yes, I do. The night before I read this chapter I cried myself to sleep. The thought of going back to my college town after Passion without Tyler scares me.
I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of having no friends. I’m afraid of being invisible.
I’m afraid of being unhappy.
“Stress isn’t only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be a sin.”
My response to stress can be a sin? How?
The Lord has commanded me to trust in him (John 14:1). And stress is the opposite of trust.
“I can’t fill with joy until I learn how to trust: ‘May the God of hope fill you will all JOY and peace as you TRUST in him, so that you may overflow.’”
Wait. I won’t know joy until I know how to trust, and I can’t trust while having stress?
How in the world do I change this lifestyle of stress I’ve created?
“Count blessings and discover who can be counted on.”
So eucharisteo is my ticket out of stress and into trust?
Yes, I think that’s the thing. Remembering the past. Remembering his faithfulness. Remembering his love. Remembering his perfect plan.
Those stones of thankfulness, of rememberance for what the Lord did pave a way for my trust in the future.
The Lord came through for me. The Lord LOVES me.
Can I not trust him now to do that same?
Can I not choose to have a thankful heart that trusts so I can have a life full of joy?