where we're headed

as you've probably gathered around here, this new job change has been rough. When I tell people I work for the university, they all smile with delight and say "You must love working at your alma mater."  But sometimes things are not what they seem. And thus working here has been anything but great.

I won't tell you all the little facts of this job, but all parts of it: the commute, the work, the pay, the management....pretty much led to me a position where I was willing to do anything but this. Nanny, Starbucks, Walmart were all things I considered doing to tide me over until I could find a new job.

I fell into a place that was dark and sad; a place no one should be. I felt depressed, useless, stupid and at times, crazy. I watched some of my favorite things about myself disappear and I cried myself to sleep many a night feeling helpless, frightened and trapped. You guys, I've been miserable. It's insane how much a job can do that to you and the effect it can have on your whole life.

photo credit

And then something happened: I got an interview, and then another. And a job offer. At a place where I'm back doing research. You guys, I never realized just how happy I am when doing science. I never dreamed my career would fulfill me this much or have such an impact on my day.

 

Life's too short to settle and just merely go through the motions; to accept things and just "get over it"; and I wasn't going to do it anymore. And by the grace of God and support of my family and friends, I'm moving on.

And so next Friday I'm saying so long to this place and headed to the next one.

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I know there's a lot of people out there job hunting and searching; trust me, you're not alone. If you ever want someone to talk to about it, email me! I've been there.

also: if you're in a place like me, dealing with difficult people, this post is a must read.

bearing the weight

it's Friday morning and it seems like years ago that it was Monday.

5 short days that feel like a lifetime.

the weight of this season is heavy.

5 minutes into each day I'm ready to throw in the towel.

my heart is quiet in this season--when struggling to survive,

words seem like extra fancy gifts I don't have time to give.

this season began in a flurry. moving, changing, new.

it's now beginning to seem permanent.

it's hard and it's raw and it might not be over anytime soon.

and since the days will keep coming,

and this weight will still be here,

I've got to change how I'm bearing it.

because for now, it's draining me empty

leaving just the skeleton of the person I know I am.

i'm bearing it knowing it's a season

i'm bearing it knowing there's grace when I fail

i'm bearning it knowing it's for a reason

bearing it knowing there's a husband at home whose love is deeper than that day's struggles

bearing it knowing each day there's the promise of the quiet of the morning

bearing it knowing He's making me new

authenticity: Austin

there are days now that make living in Houston seem like a lifetime ago.

a life filled with smiling days, golden sun and breeze.

and although the time in Austin is short, if I'm really honest it's been hard.

hard to swallow, hard to keep down and blink back the water that's ever springing from my eyes.

it's not what was expected.

it's not as easy as it was.

my heart keeps longing for what was.

hanging to any feeble thread of life as it used to be.

work as it used to be.

and yet my body is here.

in this new, foreign place.

new people, new rules.

and it makes me wonder:

is this what we wanted?  is this really what God gave?

is this really good?

and it is. my mind knows it is,

but my heart's still lingering on something else.

the boxes are gone

and we are officially moved in.
It's Friday and I'm just plain done in.
It seems like months ago we were packing up and leaving Houston, and it's only been a week.
Let's just say we've crammed enough in this past week and a half to last any normal schedule at least a month.
This Friday is especially sweet, it's the end of our first (although short) week at our new jobs,
and the start of our first weekend in our new home.

We're all settled and we worked seemingly around the clock (with LOTS of help from our wonderful families) and everything's in it's place.
While my heart still resides in Houston, this new place is looking and starting to feel a lot like home.

(Our awesome master bedroom--looking good thanks to my sister in law, Kara, and her rad skills)

I'm hoping to have some sort of normal schedule soon, and a little bit of regular life happening.
But until then, I'm going to dance because all the boxes are gone and I finally have my pots in my kitchen.
have a great weekend, friends.

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to celebrate the end of the boxes, I've left the coupon code MOVEIT up for 40% off in my shop!