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If I haven't made it clear, I want to make it known now

Sam really has been the only way I've made it through the last 7 weeks of this job.

 

He's been completely supportive, doing all the dishes, housework, and letting me crash asleep whenever I can get a minute.

 

the picture of these vows (though they are not the ones we said at our wedding) have never been more true than they are now. It's funny to me--we promise things at a wedding, and as we grow together, they become more true then when we promised them.

 

 I am madly in love with my husband. like, widly, madly, crazy in love with him. he is loving and patient and gentle and he leads me so well; he is easy to follow and easy to serve. he is quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness. he makes me laugh daily. there isn't a favorite memory with him...but just a complete and utter underservingness on my part of how he loves me daily. i am so so thankful, day after day, to be his. to get to share his name. to know that he has promised me his whole life here on earth. to know that when the Lord made Samuel in his mother's womb, he was making him for me. my husband loves me with a love that is powerful and transforming. he loves me as to push me more towards Christ. i am madly in love, deeply underserving, and utterly thankful.  

 

I love you, Samuel.



my favorite weekends

are the ones without an agenda.

just two days of us relaxing, soaking in the outdoors, and spending a lot of time together

you're welcome for the picture overload.

the anti-valentines

I love valentines day.

I really do.

It's the day after my birthday, a day of love, full of chocolate and sweets and kisses.

What's not to love?

Yesterday was the WORST and best Valentines day.

Expectations were high. It was SUPPOSED to be an easy day at work.

I had a great lamb chop recipe for a romatic night in with my man.

BUT

I had a crappy day at work.

Getting yelled at for helping others.

Pulling the weight of 4 people who don't actually work.

And then getting in trouble for it.

I ugly cried for the last 30 minutes. UGLY. In my office, with the door shut.

and people outside could still hear me.

U-G-L-Y, people.

I didn't want to go home and cook for an hour.

But I wanted that romantic night with my mr.

So I called Sam from the parking lot of Kroger in a big hysteriacal mess and he said the most romantic words to me:

"Let's just get a frozen pizza and get in our pajamas when we get home"

yes friends, those were the most romantic words I could have hoped to hear.

and then I reazlied I couldn't go buy the pizza because I had lost my wallet.

more ugly crying, in the Kroger parking lot.

back to the office to look for the wallet.

no wallet, finally home, reaady to collape I check the mail.

Jury duty.

more tears.

and then my mr. comes home with a pizza, cookies, wine, roses and a card.

multiple episodes of the office were watched.

and he was asleep by 9pm.

it was just what I needed.

the month of love

Happy February!

It's probably my favorite month of the year.

For us, it holds my birthday (13th), my little brother's birthday (8th)

Sam and Kara's birthday (21st)

and of course

Valentines day.

It's a lovely month

full of pink and red

and chocolate

and what that much celebrating going on, it's got to be a great month.

here are a few of my favorite things to do with Valentines:

some may find it cheesy

or a useless holiday,

but for me, it's a great reminer to remind the man I love

just how much I love him and how thankful I am for him.

Last year we bought running shoes on valentines day.

and we had a blast.

and remember a lot of laughter and a lot of fun.

it wasn't the "typical" valentines, but so what?

what has been your favorite valentines memory?

Monday...blues

I had a great weekend.

Like, the best we've probably had in a long time.

just the two of us, lots of family time, and lots of time outside

we stayed home, slept in and relaxed.

I got in a long run and Saturday afternoon was spent at the batting cages.

My husband is a great hitter.

and I didn't even know

today just feels like I'm still trying to live in Saturday.

and for today, that's alright.

how was your weekend?

anniversary weekend

this week I'll be posting just a few times.

I hope you disconnect too and spend some time with your family.

I'll catch you after Christmas.

___________________________________________________

this past weekend was our anniversary.

I honestly can't believe it has been a year.

it has flown by so fast.

it's been such a blessing.

such a gift.

and so we celebrated big.

 we started the morning with sleeping in, coffee, and cards.

and Sam suprised me with the Justin Bieber Christmas cd.

for which the lady at target made fun of him when he checked out.

but he still bought it for me.

that's love. 

so then we dressed up and took pictures of ourselves.

um, I'm married to him?

yes. so lucky. 

we had afternoon tickets to White Christmas.

so wonderful, and heartwarming.

and they had snow fall from the celiing at the end.

and best of all, GEORGE HW BUSH was at our show (they announced it at the beginning of the show!)

and since we ran out the door when it was over to get to our car,

we saw secret service load him into his car.

and he just smiled and waved at all of us.

I realized I have never seen a past/present president.

we stayed at the Magnolia hotel downtown Houston.

it was beautiful. 

the next series of pictures I was attemping a "predinner" picture.

it didn't really happen.

we ate at the  best steak house I have ever been to.

and spent more on a meal than I have ever spent.

and they brought us chocolate cake with "happy anniversary" written in chocolate.

um. delicious. 

Samuel,

I can't believe I have had the honor of being your wife for a whole year.

This year has been so filled. I have learned so much. I have been so blessed to be by your side each day. I love you so much more today than I did a year ago. I can't wait for the next 70 years. 

little things #3

our week this week has been full of many highs and lows.  lots of lows.  we are attending the funeral for Sam's boss tomorrow.  It is still eerie and haunting. but, in the midst of this crazy week, we have had countless blessings.


....Friday off!  Samuel and I both took today off as a "mental health" day/ we need a break from all the craziness for some time together.  We are probably still sleeping as you read this. and it rocks.

....Soup.  It's now chilly in Texas.   Well, it's like 80 degrees. so it's chilly.  While we are home all day today I plan on making this soup from my friend Jessi.  I am pumped about all the ginger, carrot, pumpkin-y goodness.

...such encouragement and support from you guys. one of my favorite things about  blogging is real women encouraging and loving on one another. I definitely felt the love and support this week.

...the thrifty seeker deal that went on all this week was a blessing. I am glad so many of you took advantage of it!  if you missed out, we've got some big news coming up on Monday that you won't want to miss.  think BIG.

....reading. I'm in the middle of The Help, and loving it so much.  i picture lots of reading this weekend.

This is what our weekend plans look like:

lots of reading

lots of cuddling and kissing.

(and no, we are not old; but I love this picture because I want to be doing this when we're 70)

lots of slowing down

resting

refreshing

anniversary plans

our anniversary is just around the corner.
well, it's in december.
but with every weekend from now until new years booked, we have to start thinking about it.
and the fact that hotels are booked now.  we should probably get on that.

so I spend a good portion of my day dreaming of what we should do/where we should go.
groupon getaways can be really addicting. 

maybe a cruise? I've never been on one and have always wanted to! We are only an hour from Galveston and it would be great forced relaxation!

maybe we go back to Austin where we met and went to school? I would love to go to the restaurant where we ate before getting engaged.

and then there's groupon getaways to great places like Cabo and Mexico.

Not happening, but oh so fun to look.

so:

where did you go for an anniversary that you loved?

any suggestions? (we are open to all of these + more!)

have you seen the deal on Thrifty Seeker? 
you can get a triple rosette necklace for a great deal.
in whatever colors you want.
For a total of $15 $10 (including shipping, you get one!) 
it makes a perfect Christmas present at a steal of a price.

i'm wearing lipstick. my first ever lipstick.

Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and upwrap the gift given: joy

This is as real as it gets. 

timing

I live life on a tight schedule.
my days are calculated, precise.
my plans are set, my dreams are in motion.

and yet, none of it's mine.
as the husband and I go though this rough-ish period that we're in, nothing is really changing at the moment.  we're not making progress, but we're not as bad as it could be.  we're just waiting. sitting in the uncomfortable, and finding that God is right in the midst of it.

so for now, we'll sit in the dark, clinging to each other and waiting on His timing.

we're all in this together

we spent this past weekend in Austin, seeing two of our friends get married.
it was wonderful, and beautiful.  the wedding was Sunday at 11.  I can't think of a better way to go to to church.

during the wedding, I was reminded of how surrounded we are.
by friends, family, and those who love and support us.
not only on the day we promise forever to our spouses.
but in the everyday. the hard days. the I hate my job days.

here in Houston we are separate from our families.
and it's easy to get discouraged when we are alone.
but this weekend was sweet time to know that we have people fighting with us.
praying for us.  knowing our joys and our hurts with us.

we are in a place right now that's uncomfortable.
we are in the midst of a change.
i will share more later, but for know, just know that we appreciate your support and encouragement.

we're all in this together.
and we are clinging to each other.

my favorite things

me: are you still up?
sam: yes
me: do you want some ice cream?  and maybe watch some criminal minds? and camping in the living room?
sam: are you saying that what you want?
me: yes.
sam: okay, come on.

my favorite thing about marriage is not that we can camp in the living room.
but that is fun.
my favorite thing about marriage is that
it's never over.
it's not over on good days at work,
or bad days,
or when we are looking for jobs, or just happy.
or crying in the kitchen over dinner

I will have my best friend on all of the days.
and all of the mornings.
and that's my favorite thing.

What I love Wednesday

The husband got hit by a plank of wood while driving in the car yesterday.  Praise the Lord he is fine--it didn't come flying through the windshield or anything...just banged up the hood of the car.  It's in the shop now getting all new and shiny like. 

SO, that means the husband drops me off  at work around 7 and picks me up around 6.  We are praying it doesn't take long to fix the car.  While I am completely happy to just have a healthly unharmed husband and fixed car, there are a few things I can daydream about while all that mo la la goes to the repair shop.

This navy tree is an 8.5 x 11 print.  I love trees and navy..this perfectly combines them. You can find it here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/68428802/navy-blue-tree-vintage-woodcut-graphic?ref=sr_list_32&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=navy&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

I have a perfect place for this in the kitchen...if only it could be mine.  You can have it here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/61784563/sale-a-sort-of-dream-fine-art-carnival?ref=sr_list_2&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=dream+print&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade but then I would have a real bad case of jelly.

Adorbs.  Etsy is like crack.

This is a set of postcards with peony prints that you can get for only $15 for 10 cards.  And they are 5" x 7".  I want to frame them.  Maybe if we have no more car issues.  http://www.etsy.com/listing/66617612/set-of-10-peonies-blank-cards

Happy hump day!

One and only

Good afternoon friends.

I hope your Wednesday is going well.

I struggle with Wednesdays. 

Struggle?

YES.

I meant it.

I struggle with Wednesdays.

I don't know why.

As my dear husband says "You fall apart."

It's true.

The end of the week is just not as near as Thursday.  Monday and Tuesday are the beginning--it's work time.  Wednesday...is just there.  Right in the middle.  Maybe I struggle with it because I can't define it well.

No, that's not me, that's the husband.  He likes definintions. 

We I am off topic.

I apologize.

This past weekend we went to Austin to see some wonderful friends and family. Baby big boy Davis might have been the highlight.  Even his cute little voice saying "It's time to hero up" was enough for all the hours in the car.  And I hate riding in the car. 

We I am off topic, again.

It's Wednesday, what can I say.  I fall apart.

Now on to the real reason for this blog post.  On the way to Austin I was listing to Adele (who is so so talented, by the way). She has a song called "One and Only" that has been on repeat since Friday.  Yes, since Friday.  It is that good.

This song has gripped me and won't let go.  It reminds me of my husband.  It teaches me about my Savior.  Yes, it does both.  Nope, I don't think she meant it about Jesus.  But that's what I love about art/music.  It can all be about Jesus (my husband taught me this...he is the man). Jesus is creativity, He is all that is good; He turns all that is bad into good.  There is no reason for us to write off a song as "secular" when there are tidbits of truth in the song that can give Jesus praise.  The artist may not know Jesus, be writing about Jesus, but if it's true, then it's from the Lord and I can sing it to him.  So yes, this song teaches me about Jesus.  I'm pretty sure Adele just meant it about a boy. 

The part of the song that has gripped me is this:

You'll never know if you never try,
To forgive your past and simply be mine

The whole song is great; but that line keeps going through my head.  At first I could only think of my husband.  In our almost FOUR months of marraige, we are learning so much. We are learning how to "be one." We are learning self-sacrifice.  It would be so easy if we were both just blank slates.  But we aren't.  There are so many ideas and preconcieved notions we bring into marriage. There are bumps, bruises, and scars we got along the way on our path getting to each other. It's baggage.  There are things we have to chose to move past.  It doesn't just happen. Things don't just "go away."  We must TRY. 

Some of these things while difficult, are not impossible.  I must try to let go and let my husband listen to music at levels that I think my ears are bleeding.  I must try, but it's not impossible.  We must try and find harmony at breakfast.  Samuel loves eggs and bacon.  I hate both.  I LOVE pancakes.  They are not his thing.  Bagles are pretty neutral territory. This is easy.  I still have to try, but it's easy.

Then there's the big stuff.  And somewhere along the lines of the big stuff the Lord was teaching me (yes, He was teaching me while I was listening to Adele).  That our feeble trying won't make it.  If I try the "big stuff": forgiveness, self-sacrifice, humility, submission, on my own I will fail.  I will.  Trying won't cut it.  I have to trust.  I have a God big enough to trust. I have a God who has proven faithful.   I can forgive trusting Him to provide even the capablity to move on.  We share a God that delights in using us as a part of His Glory when we die to our selves.  I have to trust the promises I know in order to succeed. 

It's a leap of faith.  We have to trust the faithfulness and bigness of our God.  Without trusting Him, we can't forgive.  We can't learn humility.  We are stuck.  And yet those things are absolutely necessary for marriage.  We have to give up trying and just trust.  Not to say that in our trusting, we don't try.  Yes, forgiveness is work.  When I think I can't let one more thing go, I have to ask the Lord for the ability to forgive, and then actively change my state of mind.  When I just want my way, I have to trust the heart of my husband in knowing what's best for us as a family.

But when we trust, when we take that leap and are relying on a strength that is not our own.  Then we really are theirs.  When I trust my Savior and rely on His strengh, I am placing my idenity in him.  I am belonging to Him.  When I move past lies that past relationships have taught me, when I let of of my need to control, and just learn to love my husband deeper and more truley, then I am his. 

At the end of the song, it repeats this line for a while:

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart.

It's not easy to give up my selfishiness, self-righteousness, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc.  But I can trust them with my heart.  Each is worthy.  For them, I will give up my heart and all the desires along with it; because in each of them I know they have better plans for me than I have for myself. 

Because to have them (my Saviour and my husband), the cost of my heart seems a small price to pay.

Becuase to get to be their one and only;

Giving up my heart is so worth it.

A few big changes..

Besides living with a boy...the apartment looks very different than it used to...so, here is a re-introduction to the apartment as the Battershells apartment!

Sam had an awesome idea to hand some lanterns from the ceiling in our bedroom!  It's my favorite part of the whole house. 

We are proud longhorns!

 The knot Sam used to hand the lanterns--it looks so cool.

 Each lantern has a flameless candle in it--they look awesome when turned on!

 The lanterns with the metal galvanized cubes below--the towels look very cool displayed in the cube.

 My bedside table and lamp.

 Our gallery of pictures on the wall in our bedroom.

 Near the door in our bedroom.

 Sam's dresser and our bedroom TV.

 My dresser.

 Side table in the living room

 Metal bookcase in the living room.

 Centerpiece and tablecloth.

 Living room--Sam got some cool mantle like shelves for display..they are awesome!

 A few small details of the house--Sam is great at these small details.

 A plate we got in Cabo--we love it!

 We love our Thomas O'Brien clock!

 We made pickles together--it was so fun!  They are so tasty!

 Our guest room looks much better.

Hope you enjoyed it!  We love the changes!