Heart of Thankfulness Chapter 7:

Is anyone else in shock that we are in the last week of 2011 or is that just me?

As we approach the new year, I hope that you will make it a resolution of yours to allow God to change your heart into a heart of thankfulness.For both of us, this book is one that the Lord continues to use  on our hearts, and we would love to have you join us whenever!

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It's my own face that obscures the face of God. My own rage, anger, impatience. 

In the mess and loud and screams Jesus whispers "What do you want?"

and I want to see. To see him in the mess. To see Him in the sinful, self loving world I live in. 

But I don't see, because I believe in the power of the pit. I smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love. Do I really believe that? Can something so hideous reside in my heart?

I try to hide it, but truly I do believe that complaining, exasperation and resentment will get me farther than love. "When I choose, and it is a choice, to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective--more expedient--than giving thanks."

and the grace of God whispers to me

Blasphemer.

Blasphemer.

We first must focus. "Jesus took the break, looking up to Heaven, and gave thanks."

Focus. Eyes to Heaven. 

It's a matter of focus. 

Looking for the ugly-beautiful, count it as grace, and transfigure the mess into joy with thanks and eucharisto. 

"Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization. Unless I call my attention to what passes before my eyes, I simply won't see it." Annie Dillard. 

and by thanks, we see. We see that He is here. Here in the ugly, in the mess. 

"We can see deep because we have seen His glory and received one gift after another.

But we only recognize the glory of God in this moment when we wake to the one grace after another"

I'm  blind when I want to be. 

The gift is always there. The reason for thanks is always there. 

Do I sometimes choose my anger over joy?

We can only choose one emotion at a time, which do we want to feel?